I can't stand the pain, the loss everywhere I turn, everywhere I look reminds me of my past. Even sometimes fear of the failure of my future. I look around but all i see is the pain the worse of possiblities. The scars haunt my memories I will never forget nor move past the idea. Suicide always rattles in my brain. I feel alone every turn i take, every move i make leads me further away. All my reflection screams is failure. I cant lok at myself with respect or dignity only regret hate and denial. Im not living a life worth carrying out. Day by dad i get closer to dying. There is something unhuman compeling me to jump,drown,bleedout. die. I want to stop it, i really do. But its not my choice whether im depressed or not. Its not a switch that I cant stop at my own will. The only thing I go on for is for my "friends" and those are depleting(depleted). The bond weakening. With all these friends I need to hide my true feelings, no one cares anymore. I think its time, this life ends. With all these thoughts what is my relief. Other than the bliss of a knife ripping the skin on my wrists. Leaving holes to see my insides, the veins. As blood runs down my arm this is no tears or pain only relief. The sight of the blood is relief. All i wonder is why me why do i have to about all this live it and someday maybe soon die from it.